The Whammy

Ok, so..remember on my last post when I stated that things were going okay but that I didn't want to get too excited because if I got hit with a "whammy" out of nowhere, I'd be disappointed?? Remember that? Well, the shit happened. To make matters worse, It all happened around my birthday. I spent my b-day week going back and forth to visit my mother at a mental facility, cleaning house and trying to spend quality time with my girlfriend. Mind you, I'm still being audited by the damn IRS, my mother is behind in her rent and they're sending all kinds of notices, I have to make sure she takes her meds, then on my b-day, I helped my girlfriend move into her apartment. Did I party? NO. Did I get lots of gifts? NO. BUT, I received a tremendous amount of support from my girlfriend and friends. I couldn't have asked for anything better. She drove me to and from the hospital and listened to me vent about the situation w/o judgement or fear. My best friend offered to put food in my mother's refrigerator and play nurse to check up on my mom during the day with phone calls, I received numerous amounts of prayers from all over and to my surprise, I didn't lose my mind as I anticipated. The good news is that she's coming back home today and hopefully she'll continue taking her meds.

Before she was admitted, I had an argument with my mother's best friend. She had the nerve to tell me I have to deal with it forever because she's my mother and I can't be mad about it. (In a sarcastic way she then says,"Oh poor you! So what you're 25...if your mother has a problem you have to deal with it.")What the F*ck is that?!! I was so appalled at her response. My point being is that yes I'm 25 (26 as of Sunday) and I should be living my life crazy and having fun for my b-day...not admitting my mother into a mental ward-BY MYSELF..with no family support. I don't know what people expect of me but I know this..EVERYONE CAN KISS MY TUSH. I've learned through this ordeal is that people are like a**holes, every body's got one!

I always wanted the type of life that I wouldn't have to constantly worry about my mom. She's so clingy, needy, lazy and wants everything to be given to her rather than her working for it. I get so frustrated whenever I look at her because she's such a disappointment to me. People will tell me that I'm wrong for saying or feeling that way but it's the truth. Shouldn't parents be more concerned with their children and not vice versa unless a parent isn't doing so good health wise?? Another thing..I HATE that people are constantly telling me "You can never leave home because your mother needs you". What the hell does that mean? I can never move on my own because my mother doesn't want to be responsible? That's bulls***. IT ISN'T FAIRRRRRRR!!! My therapist even agrees. So now, people will understand why I look perturbed often..lol.

Yea, so, that's what's been going on with me since my last posting. Your feedback is appreciated and welcomed